
I live in a town that is very new to me. I arrived knowing no one. I waver between feeling completely ridiculous for moving to a town where I have no friends, family or familiar places to turn to and feeling like I am challenging myself in a positive way. I’ve done this a few times over though, so I’m starting to figure out how to make friends quickly and how to make myself more comfortable in a foreign setting.
Here are Team Sweet’s
“Ohmygoodness I have no friends and this doesn’t feel like home”
List of Remedies:
1. Find a coffee shop to frequent - Try to find one where the baristas are a bit smiley and happy to be serving up tasty coffee to you; Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling a bit disenchanted right off the bat. Take your laptop or a notebook there and draw, doodle, write and people watch. It feels way easier to sit at a coffee place than at a bar alone.
2. Find events to go to - Go to an event where there won’t be much lull between watching/listening, etc. I prefer concerts because you don’t have a lot of awkward alone time, other than the breaks between sets. Plus, you’re in a room full of people with a similar interest as you.
3. Be accessible - I love carrying around and listening to my ipod but oftentimes I use it as a crutch if I’m feeling awkward, so try to forgo the music to make yourself easier to talk to.
4. Take a class, join a gym – Get out there and do activities where not everyone is going to know each other. If they’re all in a similar position to you, it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation.
5. Be chatty to people at boutiques, shops, video stores, etc. I’ve met a lot of awesome people doing this and I usually ask them about the town as well, so I gain some local knowledge too.
6. Get a job where you’ll be front of house, talking to people every day. I currently work at an art gallery/boutique and have met heaps of people. If you’re work situation is less conducive to meeting people, then think about volunteering at a place where you can have more face time with the public
7. Don’t be hard on yourself – There’s nothing wrong with having a lack of friends in your new town when you first arrive. It takes time to adjust. Remember to chill out and be good to yourself. Relax!
8. Style it up, kids! I moved to a smaller town than I am used to. In the city, there are millions of people, so no one looks twice when you walk down the street in your high heels with a big ‘ol bow on your head. At first, being in this smaller town intimidated my fashion prowess but I decided to say ‘the hell with it!’ Now I strut my stuff and have gotten a lot of compliments because of it. Having fun with fashion can open up the door to compliments and conversations about similar interests.
Go get ‘em!
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January 17th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
lovely post, lady! even though i haven’t done much relocating lately, your list has reminded me how nice it is to meet new people and discover new places even in your hometown.
and when you’re done exploring small towns of the south — remember that boston is always waiting for you with arms wiiiide open!
January 17th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Any advice for people, who have lived in a town for over 6 years, but still have no friends? I’m not talking about me of course….um, just this guy I know…
January 18th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Haha – Ah yes, Marc, well your friend should get out there as much as he can! Maybe umm, go drink an Asahi at Renkon? haha.
February 15th, 2010 at 3:08 am
Thank you for posting! Wow, I am totally in a rough spot with this. I’m a newlywed and moved from a big city to a small town. I went from a fulltime worker, ton of friends and busy social life to nada. I’ve tried going and doing things but nothin materialized. I’ve been discouraged to get back out there. But deep down I know I should and it will get better. Thank you for posting tips. I might try going to Starbucks to people watch and see if that helps.