Go Team Sweet!

As someone who spent three critical post-university years of her life abroad and has now returned back to her country of origin, I can say that leaving your friends, your job, and all the things that you feel make you who you are can be quite disorienting. In my last few weeks back in America, I’ve felt disconnected, deeply alone and alienated but in all this – this losing myself – I have realized (realised) that I need to pull my head up, take in some air and start to live again.

Leaving my social network, my job, my hobbies leaves me without a sense of self. When I landed here, I floundered around, gasping for air but I was unable to tell how to fill my lungs – how to become someone again. But who is to say I am no one? All of those things – familiar faces, the places I frequented – they do reflect me but how do I become confident enough in myself to feel happy wherever I may be? Doubts of who I am and where I will land and rebuild my life have plagued my days here.

But after a bit of thinking and some time to shake off jet lag and welled up eyes, I’ve taken a moment to reflect on how to keep going. This place isn’t the monster I’d hid in my closet over the last few years. And it isn’t a cozy (cosy) place to rest my head either but it is somewhere in which I can thrive. I can live. I can have fun in.

I’ve devised some steps that have helped me put one foot in front of the other:

1. Arrange your space -Feeling like you’re homeless after a big move can be scary, so arranging a space that is yours will calm some nerves. I set up a bedroom in my temporary living space. Remember: even if the space is very temporary, putting up some art or laying out some magazines, is not wasted time.

2. Stay in touch with friends – Talking with friends will reflect onto you who you are and will keep you grounded at a time when you feel disconnected from yourself.

3. Make time for yourself – I know I went through a lot after moving away from a country I love. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to lose sight of just how much you’ve actually been through, so be kind to yourself. Take a bath… take ten baths! Hula hoop, go for a walk, listen to an old punk album you’d forgotten about.

4. Reflect and document – I’ve been taking a lot of photos lately. I don’t feel like me lately but I know I’ll want to remember this transition time and the valuable lessons I learn from it. Take photos, write a story, write in a journal. Keep note of what you’re experiencing. Do this for at least twenty minutes a day if you can. Who knows… you might even have something to publish or exhibit when you’re done!

5. Move forward/Look to the future – Set a goal. Set something achievable and keep moving forward towards your plans. The worst thing to do now is stand still and wallow. Yes you can make time to reflect but don’t wallow in self pity and life’s ”what ifs”.

6. Take it one day at a time – This one really goes hand in hand with the previous step. As you move forward don’t overwhelm yourself – take your time.

Soon I’ll be tackling: Going from being a Foreigner to just being.